Constant Worry

So, I've heard that the moment you find out you are pregnant you never stop worrying for the rest of your life.  This has been true so far for me!  It is just still so early in this pregnancy and I am constantly worried that this baby will not be joining us on the "outside".  Everything I have read says that I just need to relax but that is so much easier said than done.  I have only known about this baby for 12 days and I am so unbelievably attached to him/her already!  Every twinge, every pull, every cramp scares me to death.  I realize I'm being completly irrational (especially when I eat spinach and think, "Oh my God!  I didn't clean it well enough!  I killed my baby!" - yes, these thoughts actually go through my head!) but somehow I can't seem to stop being the crazy hormonal pregnant lady.  It especially worries me when I read about other women's pregnancy symptoms when they are as far along as me.  I worry about that because I don't have them!  I have not been sick and throwing up yet.  And then I think about how glad I am that I am not nauseous - and then of course it goes back to - there MUST be something wrong with me.  The hormone levels must not be high enough.  Hello, my name is Caitlin and I'm a CRAZY pregnant lady!

Then I just take a deep breath and remember how freaking tired I am all the time, how sore my boob is, how achy my back has been and I TRY to relax.  From everything I have heard, the really bad symptoms should be coming on this week.  I just need to relax and trust in God.  And be thankful that I am not sick - YET.  Because if and when the sickness comes on, I know I will long for the days when I was just tired with a sore boob and an achy back.  Let go and let God . . .