Merry Christmas, from the THREE of us!

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Hello Baby!

Matt and I went for my second prenatal appointment last Thursday.  Dr. Bale said that my uterus is definitely enlarging and everything looks great!  He used the doppler to try to hear the baby's heart beat, but unfortunately we were unable to hear it :(.  He said it was normal and not to be alarmed by that since I was only 9.5 weeks along.

After the exam we went to his office for follow up and questions.  I was feeling particularly emotional this day since I was hoping for SOME sort of reassurance that the baby was okay and that the heart was beating.  I asked Dr. Bale so some sort of reassurance and he (sensing my constant worry brought on my motherhood) told me I could go ahead and schedule an ultrasound for the next week.

So yesterday Matt and I went in to see the baby!  It was AMAZING!!!!  The baby is about 1 inch in length and we saw the little heart beating away!  The ultrasound technician told us the heart was beating about 180 beats per minute!!!  Everything looked great and we were both just glad to see it! 

Telling Matt

I mentioned in the first post that I would tell the story about "the thing" I set up in order to tell Matt that I'm pregnant.  So here it goes:

Shortly after my mom and dad (Colleen and Ray) got married, my mom was pregnant with my brother.  Shortly after he was born, mom got pregnant again (unfortunately she ended up losing that baby).  Shortly after that she got pregnant with me.  Shortly after I was born, she was pregnant with my little sister.  She was either pregnant or taking care of a newborn for the first 5 years of her marriage. 

While all this was going on, my grandpa (mom's dad) owned a farm.  He raised cattle on this farm.  There were many female cows, but only one bull.  Now of course any good farmer would want this one bull to be extremely fertile so that he could get as many of the females pregnant as possible and therefore have more cows for sale.  So for good luck, grandpa named his bull Ray, after my dad since he was successful in getting my mom pregnant so often.

Fast forward almost 30 years later to November 5, 2010 - the day I got the positive pregnancy test.  As I mentioned in my first post, I couldn't wait till Matt got home from work to tell him, so I drove down right away.  When he came out to the car, this is what he saw sitting on the passenger car seat:

Constant Worry

So, I've heard that the moment you find out you are pregnant you never stop worrying for the rest of your life.  This has been true so far for me!  It is just still so early in this pregnancy and I am constantly worried that this baby will not be joining us on the "outside".  Everything I have read says that I just need to relax but that is so much easier said than done.  I have only known about this baby for 12 days and I am so unbelievably attached to him/her already!  Every twinge, every pull, every cramp scares me to death.  I realize I'm being completly irrational (especially when I eat spinach and think, "Oh my God!  I didn't clean it well enough!  I killed my baby!" - yes, these thoughts actually go through my head!) but somehow I can't seem to stop being the crazy hormonal pregnant lady.  It especially worries me when I read about other women's pregnancy symptoms when they are as far along as me.  I worry about that because I don't have them!  I have not been sick and throwing up yet.  And then I think about how glad I am that I am not nauseous - and then of course it goes back to - there MUST be something wrong with me.  The hormone levels must not be high enough.  Hello, my name is Caitlin and I'm a CRAZY pregnant lady!

Then I just take a deep breath and remember how freaking tired I am all the time, how sore my boob is, how achy my back has been and I TRY to relax.  From everything I have heard, the really bad symptoms should be coming on this week.  I just need to relax and trust in God.  And be thankful that I am not sick - YET.  Because if and when the sickness comes on, I know I will long for the days when I was just tired with a sore boob and an achy back.  Let go and let God . . .

First Prenatal Appointment

I went for my first prenatal appointment on Thursday November 11th.  Everything I had read said that most doctors won't want to see me until 8 weeks, but according to his nurses, Dr. Bale is "Old School" and likes to see his patients right away just to confirm the pregnancy and answer any questions his patients might have.  I like this about Dr. Bale!  Matt came with me and although he seemed quite uncomfortable with the pelvic exam, I think it was a good experience for him.  He needs to start getting used to these things because what I had happen to me in this first appointment, is NOTHING compared to what I'm about to go through the next couple months!  Dr. Bale said everything looks good so far and my uterus is definitely enlarged - YAY!  It's kinda weird, but somehow I got even more excited when Dr. Bale confirmed my pregnancy.  We talked to him in his office after he was done examining me and he answered all our questions that we have so far.  My next appointment is on December 9th and that will be our first ultrasound!  I'm so excited!

Telling Our Family

We decided to tell immediate family right away.  I know most people wait a while, but we figured that the baby is here right now so we may as well celebrate him/her.  Plus, if the worst DOES happen, we know we will have the people closest to us here for support.  So here's how we told the family:

My (Caitlin's) Mom and Dad:

On the evening of November 5th (the day we found out) we headed over to my parents house.  The week before, I dressed up as Dora the Explorer for Halloween and I knew Mom wanted to see pictures of me from that.  So I printed off some pictures from Halloween as well as a picture of my positive pregnancy test.  I put the pregnancy test at the end of the pile.  We went into their house and I immediately handed the pictures to mom.  She was laughing at the pictures of me as Dora and chastizing Matt for not dressing up as Diego.  Then suddenly she came to the picture of the pregnancy test.  I have to hand it to mom, she stayed very calm and cool.  She just looked at me wide eyed and said, "Oh, OHHH!  Show your dad!"  So I brought them over to my dad.  He looked through the pictures and when he got to the pregnancy test, he was  a little confused at first, but once it computed he just smiled and hugged Matt and me.  The smile didn't leave his face the entire night.  Matt, mom and dad had a celebratory glass of wine and I sipped on my "juice box" (aka water bottle). 

The entire time we were over at my parents house, Matt's sister Elizabeth and Brother in Law Jason kept calling us.  We were supposed to go to their house that night but were just so excited/freaked out by the news we had gotten earlier that we just couldn't see us going and keeping this a secret.  So Matt called Elizabeth and told him that I wasn't feeling well.  Elizabeth said, "Well she better have a doctor's note or a positive pregnancy test!  You won't get out of our party that easy."

Matt's Parents and Sister Elizabeth:

Sunday, November 7th was Rick's birthday.  So I went to the store and bought a tiny pair of baby booties and wrapped them up in birthday wrapping paper to give to Rick as a gift.  When we walked into their house I immediately said, "Okay Rick you have to open this one right now!"  Everyone gathered around as he opened it.  He pulled out the baby booties and stared at them saying, "Hmm, little shoes."  Gerry added, "Oh, they are cute little shoes aren't they?"  They just stared at them for what seemed like forever.  Elizabeth perked up and then I finally said, "So, what do you think that might mean?"  Suddenly it clicked and there where hugs and (happy) screams all around.  Matt handed Elizabeth the positive pregnancy test and said, "Here's your doctor's note." 

Matt's Grandma:

Matt's grandparents have not been doing so great lately.  His grandpa is getting pretty old (91) and can't take care of himself like he used to.  He ended up in the hospital and while he was there, poor Grandma tripped on the carpeting and (among other injuries) broke her elbow!  Because Grandma couldn't care for Grandpa in her condition, he was sent to a nursing home upon his release from the hospital.  So Grandma has been feeling very lonely in addition to the pain she is suffering from her own injuries.  So we thought it would be nice to give her some good news!  We stopped by her house right before we went to Rick and Gerry's house.  We had some small talk with her and asked how she was feeling etc.  Then she asked what we've been up to.  Matt said, "Not much."  I was said, "What?  Not much?  Care to really tell her, Matt?"  Grandma looked a bit confused then Matt said, "Well, you're going to be a Great Grandma again!"  She was so happy!  She told me that must be why I look so good - apparently I am glowing (such a Grandma thing to say!)  She took the very practical approach and told us that we have been very smart about it - 30 is a good age to have a baby - we've been married almost 3 years etc.  It was a very nice visit and it was good to see Grandma smile again!

My Sister, Erin:

When I was at my parents house on Friday night, I sent a text to Erin asking her if she would like to go to lunch the next day.  In all the excitement, I didn't get her text back till the next day, but luckily we were able to get together and go to Adriana's.  I couldn't think of anything else to do in such short time, so I did the same thing as I did with my parents and showed her the Halloween pictures.  She was giggling at me as Dora the Explorer and then she flipped to the picture of the pregnancy test and, unlike dad, immediately dropped the pictures and hugged me saying, "Congratulations!  Yes!  I'm going to be an aunt again!"  We ate lunch as I told them (she brought her friend Jimmy along) all the details.  She was excited that I'm due in July so she can be at the hospital when I'm delivering.  We ended the lunch with hugs and well wishes.  I know Aunt E is going to be such a big part of this baby's life.  It was so fun to share the news with her!

My Brother, James:

James was out of town when we told the rest of the family, so I sent him an email asking him if there was any time this week that we could come over and see Will.  I haven't seen Will in so long, so it wasn't a lie - we just had more to tell him too!  So Wednesday 11/10 was the day.  We got over there at Will's dinner time so James was busy trying to find something he would eat.  As he was doing that, he was also trying to get Matt and me something to drink.  Matt said he'd like a beer.  James asked if I would like a glass of Chardonnay.  I said, "I would LOVE a glass of Chardonnay, but I don't think the baby would like it too much."  He immediately smiled and hugged us.  He went downstairs and got Matt and himself a beer to celebrate.  We got to play with Will for a little bit then James bathed him and put him to bed.  After Will was asleep, we ordered Pi for dinner and just talked about parenthood.  Unfortunately Ann was out of town, but James was able to text her the good news.  It was a great night! 

The only one we have left to tell is Matt's sister Debbie.  We have been trying to get together with her even before we found out about the baby, so this may take a while.  I know she will be thrilled though!  Can't wait!

After a year's worth of bad news that I've had to deliver to my family and friends with the breast cancer and all, it's fun telling people good news for once!  We are so excited for this new little person and all the joy he or she is going to bring to everyone he/she meets!

The Day Our Lives Changed Forever

Today, 11/5/10, Matt and I found out that we are going to be parents!  I don't think there is any way to adequately express how we feel.  You know if you have gone through it before.  It is unbelievable!

So how did it happen?

Well, I assume you all know HOW it happened, so no worries, I will not go into detail there.  But, here's the story.  We have been using Natural Family Planning which for those who don't know is a method where you chart your body's physical symptoms in order to predict when you are ovulating.  If you do not want to conceive, you simply avoid intercourse during that fertile time.  Well, I have been pushing against avoiding for a while now.  And one night (October 21st to be exact) Matt and I got into a discussion about having a baby.  He still wanted to wait.  I was frustrated because I was SO ready, but I respected him enough to drop the conversation - but not before I mentioned, "I understand, you are just scared."  Fast forward a couple rum and diet cokes later and it was bed time.  Upon his advances, I said, ummm, Matt, you know what's going on right now.  He said, "Yes, I know, I'm prooving a point."  I asked what point he was trying to prove and he said, "That I'm not scared to have a baby."

Testing, Testing, 1-2-3

Two weeks later I was feel a little "off."  Nothing too drastic, but I was just a LOT crabbier than usual (ask Matt about that!) and my back was really sore.  I figured I may as well stop by the Dollar Store and grab some of those $1 pregnancy tests (I hate paying $6+ for something I plan on peeing on!) and just make sure.  So on November 2, 2010, I used a test.  I waited 3 minutes and didn't see a line, so I didn't think much of it.  About 10 minutes later, I went back to it (I know, you are NOT supposed to do that!) and I saw a VERY faint line.  I decided that since it was outside the testing window that I looked at it, I should just test again tomorrow.  So on the 3rd, I tested again - NEGATIVE!  I didn't think much about it the next day and just went about my business.  But on the 5th, I was having even more symptoms of pregnancy, so I just decided to test again.  The same thing happened as happened on the 2nd.  There was a very faint line there but well after it should have shown up.  So I just decided to put an end to this madness and take a digital test.  I had a few things to do and some errands to run, but luckily one of those happened to be going to Target.  I picked up some digital tests while there and then went home.  I used the test and then sat it on the windowsill fully expecting it to show "Not Pregnant."  I went about my business putting things away putting in a load of laundry.  I came back to the windowsill to see "Pregnant".  I was SHOCKED!  I couldn't believe it!  My whole body immediately began shaking uncontrolibly.  I needed to tell Matt and I couldn't wait.  I called him to find out if he had eaten lunch yet (I was hoping I could meet him out for lunch and tell him then).  Unfortunately he was already eating lunch.  Then he started going on about what we had planned for the night asking what I wanted to do . . . All I heard was WHA WHA WHA WHA WHA.  After getting off the phone with him, I hopped in the car and headed to his work anyway . . .

Point Proven

When I got to his work, of course he was away from his desk.  I called him three times to no avail!  I left a voicemail for him and then realized that I still hadn't eaten anything, so I decided to go for lunch.  Half hour later and I still hadn't heard from him!  I decided I'd try calling him one more time and if he didn't answer I'd just go home and tell him later.  Luckily, he FINALLY picked up.  I asked him to come to the car.  He was confused, but came down anyway.  I had a little "thing" set up in the front seat (I'll explain the "thing" later, it definitely deserves its own post).  He knew immediately and then I showed him the test.  There was a smile, a hug and a LOT of freaking out (from BOTH of us!)  I was still shaking uncontrolably and he tried his best to calm me.  We talked about how unbelievably happy and yet freaked out we both were.  Eventually Matt had to go back to work, but he kissed me and then said, "Point proven."  Yes, indeed it was!

So that's where we are right now.  We just found out this afternoon and we are still trying to process it!  We are about every emotion you could imagine right now, but mostly happy!  We are praying that God will watch over us and our baby and guide us through this amazing experience.